How To Cat: An Insight Into The Colorful World Of Domesticated CatsBy Abigail T
There’s a reason we see a lot of cat content out there. Whether it’s videos on social media, documentaries, or even comics and illustrations, we see an abundance of cats because, simply put, cats are abundant! According to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) research, animal shelters across the United States take in about 6.5 million cats every year. That’s a whole lot of cats! Shelters encourage people to adopt cats, which is precisely what artist Lucas Turnbloom and his wife did. Having adopted a cat of their own, the everyday goings-on in the life of a cat owner inspired Lucas to draw four-paneled cat comics. Here are a few of his best ones! You can find more on Instagram @LucasTurnbloom.
All comics are courtesy of Lucas Turnbloom
The cat does no wrong
No matter how annoying and selfish cats can be, all cat owners know that the cat does no wrong at the end of the day. They behave like royalty in the house because they fully own their place in it.
Do you still get angry when they knock things off tables? Yes, of course. But do you do much more than begin to seethe in silence as your cat quickly switches personality into the sweetest angel on earth? Not really.
When you see cats on TV shows, they always seem to be prim and proper. They’re well-behaved unless the plot says otherwise, and they’re always clean. Meanwhile, cat parents know that this is inaccurate. This isn’t the case for cats IRL.
For whatever reason, the cat’s food bowl is never clean. There’s always food on the floor because the cat is constantly kicking the bowl around or knocking it over. There’s no such thing as a cat eating elegantly out of the bowl.
How to call the cat
Everyone knows that cats only speak one language – food. If you can’t get your cat to do what you want it to do, just bribe it with food. Pick up the treat bag, and open up a can of corn to trick them into thinking you’re opening a can of tuna.
A cat’s attitude towards you will immediately do a complete 180 once they know that you can provide them with food. They indeed are the most selfish domesticated creatures! There’s no other way to get a cat to do what you tell them.
Many people who have cats say that their cats are their wake-up calls. They claim that their cats jump on the bed and sometimes even sit on their faces in the morning. Meanwhile, others have cats who do this at ungodly hours.
A wake-up call or an alarm would be helpful when it’s actually time to wake up, but not when it’s 3 in the morning, and you’re in the middle of deep sleep! Unfortunately, cats don’t have a snooze button, unlike clocks and phones.
Stages of cat affection
Does your cat often hurt you? Does he bite, scratch, or smack you across the face sometimes? Does this behavior concern you and your family? And is it making you consider whether or not you should give your cat up for adoption?
You have nothing to worry about! These seemingly vicious acts are just your cat’s way of letting you know he loves you. It’s a weird love language, but a love language nonetheless. These are all the ways through which a cat shows affection.
Cats love to get up close and personal. They get all up in your space, and they don’t have a sense of what humans consider a physical boundary. It’s all fine until they get right under your nose and take a colossal cat breath.
Fewer things smell more foul than cat breath. It makes total sense that they would have the worst smell in the world. Cat food isn’t exactly made of the best ingredients. Raw fish smashed into a tin can? No, thank you!
A cat’s comfort
Cats have their own way of comforting their humans. If dogs would sit and allow their humans to cuddle them, cats would essentially do the opposite. They won’t leave their human alone. They’d rub their butts on their humans instead.
They would also just make their presence known around their human. Cats would constantly be around just when you need some alone time. They’ll get up on the bed, and they’ll even get up on you! However, it is always done with the best of intentions.
Staring at ghosts
If you’re a pet parent, you’ll know that sometimes your animal will just sit catatonic in the corner of a room and stare blankly at a wall. Many believe that when cats or dogs do this, they’re staring at a ghost.
In this comic, Lucas Turnbloom imagined what it’d be like if cats were indeed staring at ghosts when they do this. This ghost makes multiple appearances in Turnbloom’s comics as a sort of friend that the cat constantly plays with.
Anything to chew on
Cats are constantly chewing on random things. Sometimes it can be concerning just because a lot of small objects are choking hazards. But what you don’t know is that sometimes they chew on you in the middle of the night too!
This cat has a habit of nibbling on his human’s hair while he’s asleep. He never fully gnaws off the hair, but he just chews enough to leave the chunk of hair wet in the morning. How annoying is this behavior?
A cat’s good morning
Cats have a funny way of greeting their owners in the morning. Sometimes they ignore the humans altogether. Other times it’s just a fleeting glance as they walk by. Sometimes, though, they do this instead when they’re feeling particularly chaotic.
Yup, they offer up their butts to your face. Nobody knows why they do this. Maybe this is a sign of reverence in the cat world, but to us humans, it’s just a form of disrespect! Why can’t these cats meow and get on with it?
Everything has its place
As humans, we have a way of organizing things. Mugs and plates in the cupboards, cutlery in the drawers, other kitchen stuff on the shelves. Cups that are still being used sit on coasters on the counter. But cats continually disrupt that.
According to cats, everything belongs on the floor. Whether it’s a sock that was neatly folded in a drawer or a mug of coffee that hasn’t been finished, cats will find a way to put them on the floor…including knocking over that mug.
Remember when we said that cats would find a way to be around you all the time when they feel like it? They have no respect for boundaries and personal space. Cats are notoriously known for not leaving you alone while doing your business.
Symbiosis in the animal kingdom means that both creatures benefit from the other. But how does the cat being in the bathroom while its human takes a dump benefit, anyone? If anything, we wouldn’t want to be in the room!
Here’s a parallel comic to the previous one! Cats will do anything to be in a room with you, including the bathroom. It’s almost like they have separation anxiety, which is funny because they would rather be left alone on most occasions.
Here, the comic artist shows that cats will do everything short of breaking down the bathroom door just to be able to be in the room with their human. We’re not sure what sort of enjoyment cats get from doing this.
A cat and its box
As selfish as cats can be, we have to admit that they’re effortless to entertain. They basically keep themselves occupied, whether by chasing their tail or unraveling a ball of yarn. They’re also known for loving a good box to sit in.
There’s something about boxes that just keeps a cat busy. They could sit in it and flip it upside down or tear it apart. Their imagination probably runs wild just thinking about what the box can be and what they can do with it.
Cats would be able to pounce on the tiniest of bugs if they wanted to. Their sharp senses can spot and lock in on the bug from miles away. It’s their natural feline instincts that allow them to be this accurate.
However, you could give them a snack on the floor, and they would have trouble locating it! You’d think that even if they couldn’t see it on the floor, they could at least smell it. But nope. It could be right under their nose, and they still wouldn’t know it’s there.
Cat vs. bird
Sometimes your cat’s behavior can make you think they see you as their enemy. But the true enemy for cats is the birds that sit on the tree and peck around in the garden outside. Note how they always hiss at the birds.
You might confuse this hissing for interest or even affection. But the thing about an animal’s body language is, you can never guess what they mean! It might not be so precious that the cat reacts to the bird’s chirps.
Anyone who has ever been around a cat knows that these creatures love to get right in your path while you’re walking. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is; cats will always trip you, often to the point of you getting hurt.
Here, Lucas Turnbloom imagines that the cats don’t actually do this of their own volition. They’re just following in the behavior of their ghost friends, who, of course, won’t cause any harm because they float right through the human’s legs!
Despite cats being devilish at best, you have to admit that they look so peaceful when they sleep. You can imagine that they probably dream about running around in the garden chasing butterflies or something. But what if that’s not what they think is a good dream?
Maybe for cats and their deviant minds, a good dream is one where they’re the size of Godzilla and are wreaking havoc all over the city, making the humans run away in fear. This may be a nightmare for us, but not for cats!
A cat is very particular about physical boundaries for themselves. They will seldom be thrilled about their humans touching them. They get feisty when they’re in a mood, and someone tries to pet them. But they’re not very respectful of the boundaries of others.
When it comes to what cats do to humans, they basically throw any notion of the boundaries they set for themselves out the door. Cats won’t care if their butt is in your face. If that’s how they want to stretch, then that’s what they’ll do.
The cat tree
All cat parents know that the expensive cat tree they splurged on when they first adopted the cat is something that will only serve as decoration. Even though it was bought specifically for the cat, he never occupies the tree.
Instead, the cat finds its spot on literally every other surface in the house. He will chill on the sofa, the expensive rug, the coffee table, the bed, the bathroom floor, you name it. It’s anywhere but the cat tree for the cat.
“Apathetic” is probably another descriptor fit for a cat, on top of “selfish,” of course. Cats will only care about you if they know you have food. So if something happens to you, they won’t swoop in like superheroes the way dogs most probably would.
Meanwhile, if something happens to your cat, you’ll definitely be quick to respond and tend to its needs. The relationship between a human and a cat is pretty one-sided. Very little love and care are reciprocated! You can’t expect much.
Good morning present
Cat parents will often wake up with their cat already in their bed, even though it wasn’t there when they went to sleep. This is all fine until they get up and stretch in front of your face just as you start to open your eyes.
But it doesn’t even stop there sometimes. Often, cats will get up with the sunrise, stretch right in front of your face, lift their tail, and let out a big ol’ fart. After this, there is no going back to sleep for you, but your cat will probably curl right back up on the duvet.
Where do they go when they go?
Cat parents will be all too familiar with this particular cat trait described in this comic. Cats often disappear for days and then come back home as if nothing had happened. The first few times it’ll be worrying. But over time you’ll get used to it.
Here, Lucas Turnbloom imagines what happens during those nights when our cats disappear. Cats are secretly in a cult, and every fortnight they meet up over a bonfire in the woods to stare at the flames and be brainwashed into thinking that they should behave more selfishly at home.
It’s the ghost again
Remember the little ghost from a few comics ago? He makes several appearances in Lucas Turnbloom’s comics as an explanation for why cats behave the way they do. It’s all because the ghost is influencing these cats! If only we always had something or someone to blame our mistakes on.
All the cat wants to do is make the ghost happy. Maybe it’s not a cat’s fault at all every time they knock things over the counter. Perhaps it’s the ghost’s fault for trying to live vicariously through the cat.
Any string will do
The stereotype that cats will play with any loose string is widely accurate. Whether it’s a ball of yarn, some thread, or the tie on the garbage bag hanging out of the bin, cats will find a way to use it to entertain themselves.
Yes, this includes the strings on your hoodie! Once your cat gets a hold of it, you can bet that you will have to give him the entire hoodie. Otherwise, you might end up in a situation like this one.
Don’t talk to me unless you have treats
Cats will ignore you when you walk past them no matter how long they’ve been living in your house. They have no interest in you unless you have food. Lucas Turnbloom has found so many ways to illustrate this in his comics.
The only love a cat knows is that of his owner… reaching out for the box of treats. Other than that, they walk around the neighborhood, leave the house for days on end and only come back when they miss their store-bought treats.
Every so often, cats will sit and stare at a corner wall for what seems to be hours on end. We all know the myth that they do this because there’s a ghost in the room, and this creeps us, humans, out a lot of the time.
But Lucas Turnbloom put a charming twist to this myth. What if the cat and the ghost were friends, but the spirit often goes away for extended periods? Every time the cat stares at the wall, he’s just catching up with an old friend!
Remember what we said about cats and boxes? They will literally find any box to play with and sit in. But what if the box is too tiny for them? Well, they just see it as another challenge to accomplish.
They’ll do anything they can to be able to sit in it, even if it means that they have to be uncomfortable and squashed. At least it’s a box that they’re playing with. That’s all that matters for these cats.
That one wall
Many animals will scratch their behinds by rubbing them against a hard surface. In the wild, they would do this on trees. But for domesticated cats, there’s no really any other choice. They have to do this against the wall.
They have a favorite wall to do this on, even though the cat tree is designed with a pole in mind for them to be able to scratch themselves. Everyone in the house knows that’s just the cat wall, and it probably doesn’t smell very good.
Spring is here
Nature always signals the return of spring. Wilted flowers begin to bloom, leaves form on tree branches, and birds start to take flight freely again. And what about cats? What do they do to show us that spring has sprung?
Well, they do their damage. They run through the bushes, trample on the budding flowers, and somehow capture all the birds that flit through the garden. Everything that we find beautiful about spring happens to be ruined by our cats.
Something about shoes
Boxes and loose strings aren’t the only things cats will always play with. Your shoes will also fall victim to the cat’s many antics. If you’re thinking of getting a cat, get ready for maximum damage on all your shoes.
It doesn’t matter if it’s sneakers, boots, flats, or high heels. No shoe is safe when the cat sees it. We recommend storing all your shoes in a shoebox placed safely out of the cat’s reach. Otherwise, you may end up with no shoes!
I am Cat
“Can’t you do this somewhere else?” might just be the number one question cat owners frequently ask their cats. These felines have such disregard for boundaries and timing. Like, there’s absolutely no reason why they should be on the bed in the middle of the night.
Unbeknownst to cat parents, cats are always all up in their personal space for some wild reason. There are many other spaces on the king-sized bed. Why must this cat be right on top of his owner as he sleeps?
The cat in the mirror
Imagine what would happen if one day the cat looked in the mirror and was hit with the illusion that it’s bigger than it actually is. Then, this illusion becomes a reality as the cat becomes more and more afraid.
Soon, the cat is inflating, taking up every space in the house and expanding the walls. This drives you out of the house for fear of being hurt. You run outside for help, but it’s too late, your cat has inflated beyond limits, and your home is about to explode!
Mountain of litter
The cat’s litter box might be the base of a mountain of dirt. Every time the cat steps out of its litter box, it trails poo and soil everywhere. It’s like a whole Kilimanjaro in that box, and the cat just trots around in it.
It’s the woes of a cat parent to have to clean up the litter box every so often. You can’t leave the container too full because it will stink up the place, and then the cat is going to drag litter all over the house with its little paws.
The famous cat butt wall from a few comics ago makes another appearance here. This time, even the cat recognizes that it smells! And of course, it does because that’s the exact corner where he scratches his butt every day.
If the cat can be disgusted by his smell, imagine us humans! Having a cat is no small feat. You have to clean the house more often than usual to make sure that smells like this don’t linger! And no, lighting a candle or spraying air freshener won’t cut it.
If there’s anything that the cat hates more than birds, it’s girl scouts ringing the doorbell and standing on the doormat trying to sell cookies. They will do everything they can to get rid of this kid because it’s their territory.
This cat, in particular, probably lies down and sunbathes on that very doormat. When someone else takes over that spot, it’s time to take charge. They’ll hiss, meow, scratch, and tear their way until the poor girl leaves their domain.
Ah, the infamous “BAP!” Cats will treat their toys like prey in the wild. They’ll pounce on it, jump on it, sneak up on it, and eventually rip its life. But sometimes, they’ll be gentle and just quietly “bap” the toy from a distance.
Yup. They could easily just do this, but they just have to do things the hard way. Extra physical exertion, supplementary effort, and the additional risk of getting hurt are all worth it to them. All to keep himself entertained. Oh, cats. We will never understand you.
Often, cats will stare. Not at the wall, but at us. It will be confusing at first and maybe a little concerning. We might be thinking that they see a ghost right next to us or behind us. And perhaps that’s true…
…except the ghost is basically a doppelganger of Casper the Friendly Ghost, and he’s just having a ball spinning round and round our head, entertaining the cat. Sometimes things just don’t make sense, but for the love of our cattos we roll with it.